Is This Burnout, Sadness or Something else?
"I have everything I'm supposed to want but I still feel empty." Sometimes we set goals for ourselves, we achieve them yet feel empty like we have a void inside us. Women in India are always taught to suppress their feelings and show a happy face. Showing your feelings is always seen as a sign of weakness.
This quiz is designed for you a woman juggling invisible expectations and internal storms
You wake up, make breakfast, get everyone ready, manage work deadlines, handle family calls, and still smile when someone asks "how are you?" But inside? There's this heaviness you can't shake. This emptiness that follows you through your perfectly curated Instagram-worthy life.
If you're reading this, chances are you've been wondering: Am I just tired? Is this normal stress? Or is something deeper going on?
You're not alone. In India, we're taught that emotional pain is something to endure quietly, especially as women. "Log kya kahenge" culture means we often suffer in silence, wondering if our feelings are even valid.
But here's what we want you to know: Your emotional exhaustion is real. Your feelings matter. And there's a difference between temporary sadness and something that needs attention and care.
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"Am I Just Sad or Actually Depressed?"
"I'm still functioning," you might think. "I'm still working, still taking care of everyone. So I can't be depressed, right?" This is one of the biggest misconceptions about depression, and it's especially common among Indian women who've been conditioned to keep going no matter what.
High-functioning depression is very real. You can have depression and still smile at work meetings. You can have depression and still cook dinner for your family every night. You can have depression and still achieve your goals. Depression doesn't always look like someone who can't get out of bed—sometimes it looks like someone doing everything perfectly while feeling empty inside.
Sadness typically follows a specific pattern. It usually comes after a particular event like a job loss, relationship breakup, or family conflict. When you're sad, crying often helps and provides some relief. You can still find moments of joy—a good meal might taste wonderful, a funny video might make you genuinely laugh, or time with loved ones might lift your spirits temporarily. Sadness feels intense but also temporary, like a storm that you know will pass. Most importantly, you can usually identify why you feel this way.
Depression, on the other hand, feels like a persistent gray cloud that doesn't lift, even on days when good things happen. Instead of feeling deeply sad, you might feel numb, like you're watching your life through glass, disconnected from your own experiences. Things that used to bring you joy—your favorite foods, hobbies, time with people you love—feel flat and meaningless. This isn't just about feeling low; depression affects your sleep patterns, appetite, ability to concentrate, and energy levels for weeks or even months. Perhaps most confusingly, you might not even know why you feel this way. There's no clear "reason" for the emptiness, which can make you feel even more frustrated with yourself.
The key difference is duration and impact. Sadness is a natural human emotion that serves a purpose and eventually passes. Depression is a medical condition that interferes with your ability to function and enjoy life, even when you're still managing your responsibilities on the surface.
"Am I Just Lazy or Depressed?"
"You're just being lazy." "Other women manage everything—why can't you?" "You need to try harder." If these statements sound familiar, you're not alone. In Indian households, when a woman struggles with motivation or energy, it's often dismissed as a character flaw rather than recognized as a potential mental health symptom.
But here's what's actually happening in your brain: Depression literally changes your brain chemistry. It affects the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of your brain responsible for decision-making, planning, and motivation. When this area isn't functioning optimally due to depression, you experience something called executive dysfunction. This isn't laziness—it's a real neurological symptom.
Laziness implies choice and capability. When you're being lazy, you're choosing easier options even though you have the energy and ability to do harder things. You might procrastinate on tasks you don't want to do, but you're still capable of doing them. You feel motivated for some activities—maybe you'll binge-watch a show instead of cleaning, but you genuinely enjoy the show. You have energy available; you're just choosing to use it differently.
Depression-related motivation issues look completely different. You might feel overwhelmed by simple decisions like what to wear or what to eat for breakfast. You start tasks with good intentions but find yourself unable to finish them, even when they're important to you. Your brain feels foggy, like you're thinking through thick cotton, making even familiar tasks feel difficult. You experience physical exhaustion that isn't relieved by rest—you could sleep for 12 hours and still feel tired. Most frustratingly, you want to do things, you know you should do things, but it feels like your body and mind won't cooperate.
Consider the reality of many Indian women's lives: You're managing a household, building a career, meeting extended family expectations, handling everyone's emotional needs, and trying to pursue your own dreams—all while being expected to do it with grace and a smile. When your brain is constantly processing this mental load, it can become overwhelmed and essentially shut down non-essential functions to protect itself. This isn't weakness or laziness; it's your mind's way of saying it needs support and care.
"Am I Just Stressed or Depressed?"
In India, stress is almost worn like a badge of honor, especially for women. "She handles so much stress so well!" is considered a high compliment. From board exams to arranged marriage pressure to managing joint families to climbing corporate ladders while maintaining the perfect work-life balance, we're expected to not just survive under pressure but thrive.
But there's a crucial difference between the kind of stress that challenges and motivates you and the kind that slowly depletes your emotional reserves until you're running on empty.
Healthy stress has clear boundaries. It might be intense during exam periods, wedding planning, or project deadlines, but it has a beginning and an end. After the stressful period passes, you feel tired but also accomplished. You can relax and recover once it's over, and you still find ways to enjoy life between these stressful periods. This kind of stress, while challenging, doesn't fundamentally change who you are or how you experience the world.
Chronic stress that's morphing into depression tells a different story. The pressure never stops—there's always another expectation to meet, another person to please, another standard to maintain. You can't remember the last time you felt truly relaxed, truly yourself. Small stressors that you used to handle easily now feel enormous because you're already operating at maximum capacity. You find yourself running on autopilot, going through the motions of your life but feeling disconnected from your own experiences.
This chronic stress often comes with physical symptoms that we might dismiss as "just stress." Persistent headaches, digestive issues, sleep problems, or getting sick more often than usual can all be signs that your body is struggling to cope with prolonged emotional pressure.
Here's what many Indian women experience but rarely talk about: We're so accustomed to stress that we don't recognize when it's crossed the line into depression territory. We think feeling overwhelmed all the time is normal because it's been our normal for years. We've been conditioned to believe that constantly feeling like we're barely keeping our heads above water is just part of being a responsible woman.
But living in constant survival mode changes your brain chemistry. Your stress hormones remain elevated, your nervous system stays activated, and eventually, your mind and body start shutting down non-essential functions to protect you. What starts as stress can evolve into depression when the pressure becomes relentless and you lose the ability to recover between challenges.
What This Quiz Can and Can't Tell You
This quiz isn't meant to diagnose you—that's something only a trained mental health professional can do. Think of it as a mirror, helping you see patterns in your emotional life that you might have been unconsciously ignoring or dismissing.
What this quiz can do is help you recognize that your feelings have names and patterns. It can validate that what you're experiencing is real and surprisingly common among women, especially in our culture where emotional struggles are often minimized. The quiz gives you language to describe how you've been feeling, which can be incredibly powerful when you've been struggling to put your experience into words. Most importantly, it can help you decide if it's time to seek support from someone trained to help.
However, this quiz has limitations. It can't replace a proper mental health evaluation conducted by a licensed professional. It doesn't account for other medical conditions that might be affecting your mood, such as thyroid issues, hormonal imbalances, or other health concerns. The quiz also can't capture the full complexity of your unique situation—your relationships, your history, your current circumstances, and all the factors that make your experience distinctly yours.
Whether your score was high or low, if you've been feeling "off" for more than a couple of weeks, that's worth paying attention to. You don't need to be at rock bottom to deserve care and support. In fact, reaching out when you're still functioning but struggling can be much more effective than waiting until you're in crisis.
When to Seek Help
"But I'm managing fine," you might think. "Other people have it worse. I shouldn't complain." This kind of thinking is incredibly common among Indian women, who are often taught to minimize their own struggles and prioritize everyone else's needs.
Here's the truth: You don't need to be in crisis to deserve support. You don't need to have a dramatic story or obvious trauma to justify getting help. Sometimes the most important time to reach out is when you're still functioning but feel like you're acting in a play, going through the motions of your life without really living it.
Consider reaching out if you've felt low, empty, or "off" for more than two weeks. This persistent feeling that something isn't right, even if you can't put your finger on exactly what it is, deserves attention. If you're functioning but it feels like you're constantly performing, wearing a mask that gets heavier each day, that's a sign that you could benefit from support.
Notice if small things feel overwhelming when they didn't used to. Tasks that were once routine deciding what to cook, responding to messages, making simple decisions—might feel disproportionately difficult. If you've lost interest in things that used to bring you joy, whether that's hobbies, social activities, or personal goals, that's worth exploring with someone trained to help.
Pay attention to changes in your basic functioning. Trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, or finding it hard to make decisions that used to be automatic can all be signs that your mental health needs attention. If family members or friends have noticed changes in you—maybe you're more withdrawn, irritable, or just "not yourself"—their observations might be reflecting something you're too close to see clearly.
Be honest about any coping mechanisms you might be using. If you're turning to food, work, shopping, or other behaviors to numb difficult feelings, that's not something to judge yourself for, but it is worth discussing with someone who can help you develop healthier ways to cope.
Most importantly, if you're having any thoughts of self-harm or that life isn't worth living, please reach out for help immediately. These thoughts can feel scary and shameful, but they're more common than you might think, and they're absolutely treatable. Call a helpline, reach out to a trusted friend, or contact a mental health professional right away.
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Why Proactive For Her (Trust-Building Section)
We're India's first women-first mental and reproductive health clinic. Our therapists understand that women's mental health doesn't exist in a vacuum—it's deeply connected to our hormones, life stages, cultural expectations, and the unique pressures we face as women in Indian society.
What makes our approach different starts with cultural understanding. Our therapists get the specific pressures Indian women face. They understand the weight of family expectations, the pressure of "log kya kahenge," the challenge of balancing career ambitions with traditional roles, and the mental load that comes with managing everyone else's emotions while neglecting your own.
We take a women-first approach because we know that women's mental health looks different from men's. We understand how hormonal changes affect mood, how reproductive health connects to mental health, and the specific ways depression and anxiety show up in women's lives. We don't just treat symptoms in isolation—we look at the whole picture of your life as a woman.
Our therapy space is a judgment-free zone. Whether you're a working mother feeling guilty about not being present enough, a single woman dealing with family pressure to get married, someone struggling with fertility challenges, or a woman questioning life choices that everyone else thinks are perfect, we've heard it all. Nothing about your experience will shock or surprise us.
We believe in holistic care that goes beyond just addressing symptoms. We help you understand the root causes of your struggles and build sustainable coping strategies that work with your real life, not against it. We don't believe in one-size-fits-all solutions because we know that what works for one woman might not work for another.
Convenience matters too, especially when you're already managing so much. Our online consultations mean you can access support from the privacy of your home, without having to explain to anyone where you're going or why. You can get the help you need without adding another logistical challenge to your already full plate.
You deserve to feel like yourself again. You deserve support that understands your world, your pressures, and your dreams. And you deserve care that comes without shame, judgment, or pressure to be anyone other than who you are.
Ready to take the next step? Book a consultation with one of our women psychologists today. Because feeling better isn't selfish—it's necessary, not just for you, but for everyone who depends on you being your best self.
FAQ
Q1: I feel numb but still get things done. Am I depressed?
Yes, you could be experiencing what's called high-functioning depression. Many women think depression means being unable to get out of bed, but that's not always the case. You can have depression while still managing your job, taking care of your family, and completing daily tasks. The key signs are feeling emotionally numb, going through the motions without joy, and feeling like you're watching your life from the outside. If you've been feeling disconnected from your own experiences for more than two weeks while still "functioning," it's worth talking to a mental health professional.
Q2: My family says I'm just lazy. Could I be depressed?
This is incredibly common, especially in Indian families where emotional struggles are often misunderstood as character flaws. Depression affects the part of your brain responsible for motivation, decision-making, and energy—it's called executive dysfunction, not laziness. When you're depressed, simple tasks like choosing what to wear or deciding what to eat can feel overwhelming. You might start things but struggle to finish them, even when they're important to you. This isn't about being lazy; it's about your brain chemistry being affected by depression. If you're experiencing this along with other symptoms like feeling empty, trouble sleeping, or loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, consider speaking with a therapist who understands these symptoms.
Q3: Is this stress or something worse?
Stress and depression can feel similar, but there are key differences. Stress usually has a clear beginning and end—like exam periods or wedding planning—and you can typically relax and recover afterward. Depression feels like a persistent heaviness that doesn't lift, even when stressful situations resolve. With chronic stress turning into depression, you might feel like the pressure never stops, small things feel overwhelming when they didn't before, and you can't remember the last time you felt truly relaxed. If you've been feeling overwhelmed for more than a few weeks without any relief, and it's affecting your sleep, appetite, or ability to enjoy things, it might be more than just stress.
Q4: Do I really need therapy or will this pass on its own?
While temporary sadness often passes on its own, depression typically requires support to improve. If you've been feeling low, empty, or "off" for more than two weeks, that's a sign it's worth talking to someone. You don't need to wait until you're in crisis—in fact, reaching out while you're still functioning can be much more effective. Think of therapy like going to a doctor for a persistent cough; you wouldn't ignore it and hope it goes away if it lasted weeks. Your mental health deserves the same attention and care as your physical health.
Q5: I feel overwhelmed all the time, even with small things. Is this normal?
Feeling overwhelmed by tasks that used to be manageable is a common sign of depression, especially among women who are juggling multiple responsibilities. When your brain is already dealing with depression, it has less capacity to handle everyday decisions and tasks. This isn't about being weak or incapable—it's a real symptom. Many Indian women experience this because they're managing the mental load of household responsibilities, work pressure, family expectations, and their own goals simultaneously. If simple decisions feel impossibly difficult, that's worth discussing with a mental health professional.
Q6: Can I have depression if I still feel happy sometimes?
Absolutely. Depression doesn't mean you never smile or laugh. You might have moments of genuine happiness, especially during social situations or when distracted, but the underlying sadness or emptiness returns. Many women with depression describe it as wearing a mask—they can be "on" when they need to be, but feel drained and empty when alone. If your baseline mood has been low for weeks, even with occasional happy moments, that could still be depression.
Q7: I'm successful and have everything I want. Why do I feel this way?
Depression doesn't discriminate based on your achievements or circumstances. You can have a great job, loving family, financial stability, and still feel empty or sad. This actually makes depression more confusing and frustrating because logically, you think you should be happy. Depression is often caused by brain chemistry imbalances, not life circumstances. Many successful women feel guilty about being depressed because they think they should be grateful, but mental health doesn't work that way. Your feelings are valid regardless of your external circumstances.
Q8: Is it normal to feel tired all the time?
Persistent fatigue that isn't relieved by rest is a common symptom of depression. This isn't just physical tiredness—it's emotional and mental exhaustion. You might sleep for hours and still wake up feeling drained, or struggle to find energy for activities you used to enjoy. This kind of fatigue often comes with depression because your brain is working overtime processing difficult emotions, leaving less energy for everything else. If you've been consistently tired for weeks regardless of how much sleep you get, consider talking to both a doctor and a mental health professional.
Q9: How do I know if I need medication?
Only a qualified psychiatrist can determine if medication would be helpful for your specific situation. Generally, medication might be considered if your symptoms are significantly affecting your daily life, lasting more than a few weeks, or if therapy alone isn't providing enough relief. Many people benefit from a combination of therapy and medication, while others do well with therapy alone. The decision should be made collaboratively with mental health professionals who understand your complete picture. Don't be afraid to ask questions about all your treatment options.
Q10: What if my family doesn't understand or support me getting help?
This is unfortunately common in many Indian families where mental health is still stigmatized. Remember that seeking help is about your wellbeing, not about getting approval from others. You might start by educating your family about depression as a medical condition, similar to diabetes or any other health issue. If they're not supportive initially, focus on getting the help you need first—sometimes families become more understanding once they see the positive changes therapy brings. Consider online therapy if privacy is a concern, and remember that taking care of your mental health isn't selfish—it actually helps you be more present and capable for your loved ones.