Most of us have doubts when it comes to sex. It is not exactly an open topic for discussion in many countries. Sex is a beautiful experience that can be shared between people and ishould be seen that way.
It's absolutely normal to feel a little nervous about your first time. You’re not alone in that feeling. Understand that there is no right or wrong way of having sex. It is about exploring your body and desires. It takes time but it is worth it. If you are going to have sex for the first time, here are some things to keep in mind :
1. Understand Your Body
Trying masturbation before sex will give you an idea about what is pleasurable for you and what is not. It will help you understand what arouses your body. Get comfortable with yourself, keep an open mind and explore your own body. You can seek the help of ethical porn, sex toys or better yet, your imagination. Understanding your body can help you make your first time better. You can guide your partner on what turns you on and what doesn’t. . Unwanted pain and discomfort can be avoided easily in this way.
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2. Be in the moment
It is not enough to be present physically, you also need to be mentally prepared to have sex. Open communication and trust is important between you and your partner. You need to make your pleasure boundaries clear to them. Make sure your experience is not punctuated with alcohol or any other substance. Sex should be approached with the right frame of mind for you to enjoy it. Don’t hesitate to voice your desire or ask for your partner’s preference.
3. Be Body Positive
Body image issues prevent many women from approaching sex confidently. Flat abs and a skinny body doesn't guarantee an epic sexual experience. All of us irrespective of our body are beautiful and deserve pleasure. Confidence is the sexiest lingerie you can wear! Be comfortable in your own skin. Your flaws don’t steal your beauty, they make you exquisite!
4. Emotional Security
Sex is as much emotional as it is physical. You need to be ready for this. Do not engage in sex due to peer-pressure or coercion of any kind. Ask yourself if you are taking the right decision. If you are not ready, then, it is completely fine to put a stop to it. You are in control of your life. Forcing yourself to go through with something you do not want, can be a traumatic experience for you.
5. Have a conversation about sexual health
Initiate a conversation about sexual health with your partner before sex. This will be difficult in case of impulsive sex. You can check your body for sores or bumps that might be signs of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI). Ensure you are using proper contraceptive methods. Use different condoms for anal sex, oral sex and vaginal sex. Lube can help in preventing STIs and pain during intercourse.
6. Use the proper methods of contraception
Contraception is essential in preventing STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Wash up before and after sex. Zero in on a condom of your choice to make sex pleasurable and stress-free. Use enough lube to help you further. It will help to make sex pain-free, especially during vaginal sex. If you want to use food items during oral sex, remember it increases a chance for vaginal infection. Avoid using oil-based lube as it will affect the integrity of the condom. Silicon- based and water based- lubes work best with condoms. Don’t forget to inspect the condom for wear and tears before and after sex. If you are allergic to latex, you can use non-latex condoms.
7. Small steps can go a long way
Your first time can be nerve-wracking. Just take a breath! Sometimes you might not be as mentally prepared as you thought. Remember that it is all about pleasure. You can take small steps like engaging in sufficient foreplay to get comfortable with each other. Once you are ready then it will be gratifying for both of you.
The definition of sex and intimacy is fluid. It is not one shoe fits all. Sex is definitely not a one time experience. You learn more about yourself and your desire each time. It is imperative to continuously evolve your understanding of what works for you and your partner. Always remember to respect boundaries and practice safe sex for a pleasurable experience.
This information is provided for educational purposes and should not be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your healthcare practitioners before undertaking any changes in your diet or adding supplements.
Also Read: 5 Questions To Ask Your Gynaecologist If You Haven’t Already
Disclaimer: This information is educational and should not be construed as medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any dietary changes or adding supplements.
Proactive For Her is a digital clinic for women, offering accessible, personalised, and confidential healthcare solutions. We offer out-patient care, diagnostic services and programs for various health concerns of Indian women, across their lifetime - from puberty to pregnancy to menopause.