What are Erogenous Zones?
An erogenous zone is any part of the body that can trigger sexual arousal when touched and looked at. Stimulation of an erogenous zone can sometimes elicit an orgasm. Erogenous zone mapping has revealed that the whole body can be sensitive to sexual touching (Nummenmaa et al., 2016) but erogenous hotspots can make up for 26% of the body surface! Those of us from the F.R.I.E.N.D.S.- loving generation would recall Monica’s hypothetical tour of seven erogenous zones mapped out in Season 4, Episode 11.
The map below gives the topography of erogenous regions triggering arousal in humans during masturbation and with partners. Notice how the whole body lights up in response to a partner’s touch, gaze, and presence!
Picture source: Nummenmaa, L. et al. (2016) ‘Topography of human erogenous zones’, Archives of Sexual Behavior, 45(5), pp. 1207–1216. doi:10.1007/s10508-016-0745-z.
Why are Erogenous Zones Important? Hint: They’re the Key to Satisfying Sex.
Touching is a powerful means for eliciting sexual arousal. Affectionate touch from one’s partner and self-stimulation of the genitals are both capable of triggering arousal responses. Research has found that along with touching, even looking at erogenous zones can trigger sexual interaction (Maister et al., 2020).
Erogenous zones are important to pay attention to because they have a higher density of touch receptors. These receptors respond to touch and convey information to a region of the brain called the somatosensory cortex which is responsible for processing sensory information as well as regulating emotions and moods. That’s why stimulating these zones can bring quick changes in our moods! This can also help to improve intimacy and enhance emotional bonds between partners. Knowing both your and your partners’ erogenous zones will only enhance your sexual experiences.
Erogenous zones also play the main character roles during foreplay and are responsible for the exciting build-up to sex. Stimulating the erogenous zones beyond the genitals can add a variety to the sexual experience and also create a playground for trying out solo and partnered sex toys and other aids like massage oils, lubricants, textured products, etc. While orgasms are a sensational goal to aim for during sex, engaging in extensive foreplay can heighten the experience of the orgasm to its most exhilarating potential.
Discussing and exploring erogenous zones with a partner through activities such as sensate focus requires communication and trust, the building blocks of a healthy sexual relationship.
The Most Common Erogenous Zones and a Brief Guide to Stimulating Them
1. Mouth and Lips
- Kissing: Engage in soft, lingering kisses, occasionally interspersing gentle nibbles and playful sucking on the lips. Experiment with varying the pressure and pace.
- Oral Stimulation: Use your tongue to trace your partner’s lips, occasionally sucking gently. Whispering sweet nothings or erotic words can also heighten arousal.
2. Neck
- Nape of the Neck: Place soft kisses along the nape, moving slowly from the hairline downward. Lightly graze the area with your teeth or fingertips.
- Side of the Neck: Kiss and lick the sides of the neck, alternating with gentle sucking. Pay attention to your partner’s reactions to find the most sensitive spots.
3. Ears
- Earlobes: Lightly nibble on the earlobes, occasionally sucking and licking them. Whispering or blowing gently into your partner’s ear can also be very stimulating.
- Behind the Ears: Use the tip of your tongue to trace small circles behind the ears, following up with soft kisses and gentle nibbles.
4. Chest and Breasts
- Nipples: Start with gentle circular motions around the nipples using your fingers. Gradually increase intensity by licking, sucking, and gently biting the nipples.
- Breasts: Use your hands to gently massage the breasts, varying the pressure. Kiss and lick around the breast, gradually moving towards the nipple.
5. Back
- Lower Back: Use slow, deliberate strokes with your fingers, or a soft massage to relax and stimulate. Kissing and licking along the lower back can add to the arousal.
- Spine: Trace the spine lightly with your fingertips or tongue, moving from the neck down to the lower back. This can create a tingling sensation that many find pleasurable.
6. Stomach
- Abdomen: Use light, feathery strokes with your fingers, and alternate with soft kisses. A warm breath followed by a cool exhale can add an interesting sensation.
- Belly Button: Gently kiss and lick around the belly button. Some people enjoy gentle, playful sucking or nibbling in this area.
7. Thighs and Legs
- Inner Thighs: Lightly stroke the inner thighs with your fingertips, moving closer to the genitals without actually touching them to build anticipation. Soft kisses and gentle bites can also be very stimulating.
- Back of the Knees: Lightly tap or stroke with your fingertips. Soft kisses and playful bites can also feel good.
8. Genitals
- Penis: Use your hand to stroke the shaft, varying the pressure and speed. Pay special attention to the glans (head) with gentle licking and sucking.
- Scrotum: Gently cup the scrotum, massaging it softly. Licking or lightly sucking can add additional pleasure.
- Clitoris: Start with gentle, circular motions using your fingers or tongue. Vary the pressure and speed, and pay attention to your partner’s responses.Stimulating the clitoris can result in a clitoral erection - similar to that of a penis - which leads to increased lubrication and space in the vagina to facilitate painless penetrative sex.
- Vagina: Use your fingers to explore the outer and inner areas, varying your touch. Penetration can be combined with external stimulation of the clitoris for heightened pleasure.
- Perineum: Use gentle pressure with your fingers, or soft, circular motions. This area can be very sensitive, so start lightly.
9. Buttocks
- Glutes: Use firm but gentle massaging motions with your hands. Squeezing and kneading the muscles can be very pleasurable.
- Anus: If your partner is comfortable, use gentle circles with your fingers or tongue around the anus. Ensure proper hygiene and use plenty of lubrication if you proceed with further stimulation.
10. Feet and Toes
- Soles of the Feet: Massage the soles with your thumbs, applying varying pressure. Light, tickling strokes can also be stimulating for some.
- Toes: Gently suck and lick the toes, paying attention to your partner’s comfort and pleasure levels. Lightly nibbling can also be arousing for some people.
Constant and respectful communication and consent about and for stimulating erogenous zones is always a must and significantly improve the sexual life between partners.
Conclusion
For women and their partners who are battling vaginismus, erogenous zones provide a gateway to all the pleasurable treasure troves of the body, even if penetrative sex feels inaccessible at the moment.
Proactive For Her’s award-winning and multi-disciplinary Vaginismus Healing Program is designed to be holistic and pleasure-centric so that women are not only able to experience painless penetration, but also gain the knowledge and tools to make it pleasurable. If you suspect someone you know might be dealing with vaginismus, reach out to us at Proactive For Her to schedule an initial consultation and gain more information about the program.