Transition from dilation to penetration for Vaginismus patients
Sneha Annmary Chandy

Sneha Annmary Chandy

May 02Vaginismus

Transition from dilation to penetration for Vaginismus patients

Why dilation process is crucial for vaginismus patients

Dilators are a crucial tool in the treatment of vaginismus, a condition involved with involuntary muscle spasms in the pelvic floor, which can make penetration painful or impossible. By gradually increasing the size of the dilators over time, patients can desensitise their bodies to penetration and learn to relax their pelvic floor muscles. This process, known as desensitisation therapy, helps one become more comfortable with vaginal penetration and reduces anxiety associated with it. Dilators also provide a safe and controlled way for patients to regain confidence and control over their bodies, ultimately facilitating healing and restoring normal penetrative function. Additionally, using dilators under the guidance of a healthcare professional allows for personalised treatment plans tailored to each person's needs, maximising effectiveness and success in overcoming vaginismus.


Tips for enjoying the final stage: Penetration

Once the person is able to smoothly and comfortably insert the largest dilator size, the pelvic floor muscles have relaxed, and the anxiety around penetration is more or less gone away, the health care professional will encourage the patient to start practising penetrative sex with their partner. There are certain ways to make this stage easier and more comfortable for both partners:

1. Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication about fears, concerns, and boundaries related to penetration. Listen actively and without judgement, validating each other's experiences and emotions.

2. Gradual Approach: Take a gradual approach to penetration, starting with non-threatening activities such as gentle touching or external stimulation. Progress at a pace that feels comfortable for the individual, respecting their boundaries and limitations.

3. Sensate Focus: Practise sensate focus exercises, which involve exploring and enjoying sensual touch without the pressure of penetration. This can help shift the focus away from performance and towards pleasure and intimacy.

4. Supportive Partner: Be a supportive partner to each other in the process. Encourage patience, understanding, and reassurance, and emphasise that progress may take time.

7. Professional Guidance: Seek guidance from your coach or healthcare professional.They can provide personalised treatment plans, support, and guidance throughout the healing process.

8. Self-compassion: Encourage self-compassion and self-care for each other. Remind one another that healing from vaginismus is a journey, and setbacks are normal. Celebrate progress, no matter how small, and offer encouragement along the way.

By implementing these tips with patience and compassion, you can feel less scared of penetration and instead feel more empowered.

Surrender to the design of your body

Feeling good about one's body is crucial for healthy sexual experiences and overall well-being. When individuals have a positive body image, they are more likely to feel confident, comfortable, and empowered in a relationship.  Body confidence contributes to overall self-confidence, which is essential for expressing desires, communicating boundaries, and exploring pleasure during sexual interaction. Positive body image can enhance sexual pleasure by allowing one to fully engage in sensual experiences without self-consciousness or inhibition. When people feel comfortable in their own skin, they can focus on the sensations of pleasure and intimacy, leading to more fulfilling sexual encounters. Surrendering to the design of your body can also foster open and honest communication with your partner. It will also get easier to express your desires, preferences, and concerns, creating a supportive and respectful sexual environment where both partners can feel valued and understood.

Body confidence also facilitates intimacy by promoting vulnerability, trust, and connection between partners. When individuals feel good about their bodies, they are more willing to be physically and emotionally intimate with their partners, deepening the bond and enhancing the overall quality of the relationship.


Let go of anticipatory anxiety

Letting go of anxiety when it comes to sex is crucial for fostering intimacy, pleasure, and overall well-being in sexual relationships. Anxiety can inhibit arousal, interfere with sexual performance, and create barriers to communication and connection with sexual partners. By releasing anxiety, individuals can fully immerse themselves in the present moment, allowing for increased relaxation, spontaneity, and enjoyment during sexual encounters. Moreover, letting go of anxiety promotes a positive mindset, empowering individuals to explore their desires, express their needs, and engage in sexual activities without fear or inhibition. This leads to greater sexual satisfaction, improved self-esteem, and stronger emotional bonds with partners, ultimately enhancing the overall quality of sexual experiences and relationships. How does one let go of feeling anxious about the anticipation of sex? Communicate with your partner, gain their support and encouragement, and of course, speak to a mental health professional if you haven’t already.  


Woman on top position helps

The woman-on-top sexual position, where the woman sits/lays on top of the partner, can enhance female pleasure in several ways. Firstly, it allows women to control the rhythm, depth, and angle of penetration, empowering them to explore their bodies and find positions that maximise clitoral stimulation and G-spot contact. This control can lead to increased arousal and more intense orgasms. Additionally, the woman-on-top position offers direct clitoral stimulation through friction against her partner's body or with the assistance of hands or toys, enhancing pleasure and the likelihood of reaching orgasm. Furthermore, the physical closeness and eye contact in this position can promote intimacy and emotional connection between partners, contributing to a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience overall. If you’re experiencing challenges with positioning or pain, reach out to one of our expert pelvic health physiotherapists to help you problem solve positions in which you can completely relax. 


Communicate personal comfort zones

Communicating comfort zones with a partner is essential for fostering trust, respect, and mutual understanding in a sexual relationship. By openly discussing personal boundaries, preferences, and insecurities related to physical intimacy, individuals can create a safe and supportive environment where both partners feel valued and respected. This communication helps prevent misunderstandings, reduces the risk of unintentionally crossing boundaries, and promotes consensual and enjoyable sexual experiences. Moreover, discussing body comfort zones allows partners to support each other in feeling comfortable and confident in their own skin, fostering a deeper emotional connection and enhancing intimacy. Overall, open communication about body comfort zones promotes mutual respect, enhances sexual satisfaction, and strengthens the bond between partners.


Impact of progress on your confidence and well-being

As individuals gradually advance through the dilator sizes during their healing of vaginismus journey, they experience tangible evidence of their ability to overcome physical and emotional barriers associated with vaginismus. Each successful step forward represents a triumph over fear and discomfort, fostering a sense of empowerment and mastery over their own bodies. This progress not only builds trust in their ability to manage their condition but also boosts self-esteem as they witness their resilience and determination in the face of challenges. Additionally, achieving milestones in dilator therapy can instil a newfound sense of hope and optimism for the future, reaffirming their belief in their capacity for growth and healing. Overall, progress in using dilators during vaginismus treatment can profoundly enhance self-confidence, paving the way for greater sexual self-assurance and overall well-being.



In conclusion, embarking on the journey to heal from vaginismus is undeniably a path worth taking. While it may involve challenges and setbacks along the way, the journey offers profound opportunities for growth, empowerment, and reclaiming control over one's body and sexuality. Through dedication, patience, and the support of trained coaches through our award winning vaginismus online program or consulting pelvic health physiotherapists, individuals with vaginismus can overcome obstacles, cultivate resilience, and emerge stronger and more confident than before. Beyond the physical healing, the journey of overcoming vaginismus fosters self-discovery, self-compassion, and a deeper understanding of one's own needs and desires. Ultimately, it is a journey of self-empowerment and liberation, leading to a life filled with greater intimacy, pleasure, and fulfilment.